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April 27, 2006
Equilibrium Restored
MONDAY
NAME: Chad Morrison
CLUB: Collingwood (AFL)
BAC:0.093
TUESDAY
NAME: Reni Maitua
CLUB: Bulldogs (NRL - famous also for gang rape)
BAC: 0.165 (on P-Plates)
But it's alright, kids. They're sorry. You may continue to idolise them.
UPDATE: Collingwood have fined Chad Morrison $20,000. That's actually a pretty serious fine. He would be on, at the most, $200K, so about $120K after tax. A sixth of his annual income is a fair whack. Kudos to Collingwood on that one.
UPDATE II: Eddie's said it better than me (believe me, I'm as shocked as you are). Also, considerable debate going on over at Mr Lefty's.
Posted by Peter at 06:31 PM | Comments (77)
Straight From The Rev
We probably only need about a quarter of the footy writing that we actually get. But Melbourne's decision to publish a precis of Neale Daniher's match report each week brings us genuine insight and analysis, something sadly missing from the columns of the moronic Tim Watson.Posted by Peter at 03:18 PM | Comments (5)
Best News Ever
It appears Elton John will perform a one-off charity duet with Andrew Flintoff. Possibly Rocket Man. This is the greatest news I have heard all week.Posted by Peter at 03:15 PM | Comments (5)
April 23, 2006
Thank God
Life can return to some semblance of normality.
For a week at least.
Posted by Peter at 06:50 PM | Comments (6)
April 11, 2006
THIS WEEK...
...IN THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF JUSTICE MINISTER CHRIS ELLISON!
The year is 1941. Senator Ellison is riding high on his policy to check with the Indonesian government as to whether those pesky Papuan asylum seekers are legit or not, and still tingling from a congratulatory pat on the back from Prime Minister Howard.
He leans back in his chair.
What problems can I solve now I'm back here in 1941...?
...thinks...
...thinks...
BRAINWAVE!
Picks up phone, dials...
Ja?
Ah, hello. You must be Eva. Chris Ellison here.
...confused silence...
Senator Chris Ellison. From Australia. Calling for... the Fuhrer.
Ja. Please hold.
Doo-di-doo-di-doo...
Ja?
Adolf! G'day. I mean, hello. Chris Ellison... SENATOR Chris Ellison here. From Australia.
Austria?
No, no. Australia. Down south.
Ah, yes. You fight against the Reich.
What?
In the war.
What? No, I don't know of any war. The defence guy'd be taking care of that, whatever his name is. We don't really talk much to each other over here. Safer that way.
Anyway, wanted to run a few things by you. Bit of a mob's lobbed up here seeking refuge. They reckon they're jews.
Jews?
Yeah. Fleeing Nazi Germany. Loads of horror stories about death camps and the like.
In Germany?
That's what they say. Thought you'd be the bloke to chat to about it. You know anything about that?
Nein. We have nothing like this here.
I see. They reckon they're in for it if they head back.
Preposterous!
You sure? They're talking about... um... genocide. They got a leg to stand on?
HA HA HA HA! Absurd!
Ha ha. Yeah, absurd.
Nein. All are safe in the new Germany. They have no need to seek refuge in Austria.
Australia.
Of course.
That's what I thought. But, you know, gotta check these things out. Good government and all that.
I understand.
So I'll send them home. That okay with you?
Ja.
Terrific. Thanks for setting me straight, Adolf. Fuhrer, sorry. Cheerio.
Goodbye.
Huh. Sweet guy.
WHAT DISASTERS WILL SENATOR ELLISON AVERT?
WHICH ECONOMIC PARTNERS WILL HE PLACATE?
HOW MANY HUMAN RIGHTS WILL HE PRESERVE?
FIND OUT NEXT WEEK!
Posted by Peter at 11:30 PM | Comments (19)
New bat
My old tennis racquet cracked. They gave me a new one. Ace.Posted by Peter at 09:38 PM | Comments (0)
More subbies
Those pesky subbies are at it again.Posted by Peter at 09:35 PM | Comments (6)
April 07, 2006
AWB Scandal
Looking for a primer on the Australian Wheat Board kickbacks scandal? The Age's multimedia presentation is first class.Posted by Peter at 09:12 AM | Comments (6)
April 06, 2006
Asking The Tough Questions
Upon viewing this photo...
...three questions immediately arise:
1. What is that expression on Mark Webber's face? Is he actually Bruce Campbell or a long-lost relative of same?
2. Does the removal of the sponsor's logo from that football qualify as some of the worst photoshop ever?
3. Why is Brad Green STILL ALLOWED TO WEAR THE RED AND BLUE?
Someone must have the answers.
Posted by Peter at 10:37 AM | Comments (8)