Glutbusters

February 22, 2006

Hooray For Australians!

Oh, look. The Queen has hosted a reception at Buckingham Palace for prominent Australians. Somehow Clive James and Germaine Greer found their way onto the bill.

Tell us, Clive. What piercing insights did you share with "Aussie Liz" about the country you left twenty-odd years ago to "interview" "celebrities" on your "talk show"? (And what ARE The Weather Girls doing these days, anyway? I'm simply DYING to know.)

Clivejames
There's lots of us here. We're starting a colony.

MARVEL AT HOW HE CUTS TO THE QUICK OF OUR NATIONAL PSYCHE! (we are a travelling people!)

And then...

Clivejames
What can I say, nice house.

GASP AT HIS MASTERFUL USE OF SARCASM AND UNDERSTATEMENT TO CLEVERLY MOCK OUR HEAD OF STATE (while bowing to her and calling her "Ma'am").

And Germaine, you dedicated anti-authoritarian, you. What did you have to say of that wrinkly old bitch who has your beloved homeland (where you haven't lived for twenty-five years) by the short and curlies?

Greer2001

She has got good taste in art, and she knows the value of every single painting down to the last fiver. (And also, "thumbs up, Aussie mate!")

BE ASTOUNDED BY HER CUNNING COMBINATION OF WORLDLINESS AND CONDESCENSION! (as she curtseys (belligerently) to "Her Maj").

CHEER AS SHE "STICKS IT TO THE (WO)MAN!"

BE AMAZED AT HOW EASILY SHE STRADDLES TWO CULTURES!

Three cheers for Clive and Germaine!

Filed under Vitriol

Comments

Can you please never use the word 'straddle' in regards to Germaine Greer ever, ever again? I just went to a bad visual place.

Posted by: jellyfish at February 23, 2006 12:50 PM

I'll do whatever you ask if you promise never to leave us again.

Posted by: Peter at February 23, 2006 01:05 PM

why wont those people just assimilate? how long do they have to live in that country before they will just call themselves Brits? when will they learn to speak English? etc etc...

Posted by: kate at February 23, 2006 02:17 PM

Ah, Peter, a real life example of the tall-poppy syndrome! Actually, Clive James deserves every honour he's ever received. Reducing his record to interviewing the Weather Girls unnecessarily trivialises his contribution to society. If you're unfamiliar with his literate, always readable cultural criticism, then that's your problem, not his. Try reading his "Even as I Speak" or "The Meaning of Recognition" collections of essays. They're often brilliant.

Posted by: Ken Nguyen at February 24, 2006 01:11 PM

Ah, Ken.

As you can see, I also use that form of address when intending condescension. Snap! It's interesting that you phrase your comment in a way to provide the authoritative point of view rather than an opposing one - "actually, CJ deserves every honour...". Quite obviously in opposition to my jealous rant against a "tall poppy".

To put bitchy sniping aside for now, I have read, indeed own, some of Clive James' criticism (of television, mainly). It is fine. What irritates me about Clive and Germaine is that they are still asked about and quoted on Australian culture, when neither of them has lived here, nor really said much of import about our society, for some time.

I haven't read the essays to which you refer. I will seek them out on your recommendation. Indeed, Clive can say/write/do whatever he likes. Who's he to refuse a free lunch with the Queen or knock back an AAP journo looking for a quote? But I feel that he tossed in his wings as someone who can reasonably comment on Australian society some years back. And I find our media's lapping up of every word that drips from the lips of him and his ilk (Germaine, Barry Humphries) to be one of the last bastions of cultural cringe, and a little sad.

Posted by: Peter at February 24, 2006 02:04 PM

Pete, I can't reply to your email! Could you send me your personal email address? Cheers

Posted by: Ken Nguyen at February 24, 2006 02:56 PM

don't do it peter.

do this instead.

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