July 09, 2005
Happy Birthday, Helen
My Mum turned 53 today.
Three years ago, at the dinner party for my her 50th, there were seven other women (time as friends in brackets): her two best friends from primary school (42 years), her sister-in-law (28 years), the three other mothers from my playgroup (22 years), and a friend of the family from up the road (16 years). There was another best friend from primary school, but she died some years ago from a combination of massive alcoholism and multiple sclerosis. Every fortnight or so for pretty much twenty years, Mum would visit her wherever she was - various hospitals, facilities, boyfriends' houses. Often the friend would be drunk, sometimes abusive, but Mum kept visiting, and visiting even more when the friend was dying in a hospice. On the first anniversary of her friend's death, Mum went to see the parents, but they turned her away. It wasn't a date they wanted to recognise, so now Mum remembers it on her own.
This loyalty and dedication is a theme that runs through Mum's life. She has worked in the same hospital in the same job, for almost twenty-five years. About fifteen years ago she took up power-walking to stay fit. She has gone three times a week, every week, ever since, and prefers her slow and steady approach to personal fitness to my mystifyingly ineffective twice-a-day-at-the-gym-for-three-weeks-then-nothing-for-five-months strategy. Having raised three sons she has spent pretty much every weekday morning for twenty years buttering vita-weats and making rolls, every weekend ferrying one or more of us around to sporting venues, and most evenings turning the dinner down so she could pick us up from training, or rehearsal, or the train station when we couldn't be arsed walking TEN MINUTES from bus at the end of the street.
Apparently in the early-90s we were seriously broke and mortgaged to the hilt. I never knew. I still had new footy boots and saxophone reeds and Stussy pants, and went on school trips, and pocketed ten dollar notes on my way out to the movies. We still went on holidays to Lorne, or to Cohuna, or, for two magical weeks one September, to Surfers'. I didn't know that Mum was budgeting for every last dollar so that her boys could do all the things they wanted to do. I didn't know that our credit cards were long maxed-out, or that we were a year and a half behind on our school fees. And I didn't notice that she and Dad never went out for dinner, or got takeaway, or bought any booze except the occasional bottle of brandy.
Mum's youngest boy is eighteen now. The financial pressures have eased, and she has the time and some of the money to do all those things big and small that she has postponed or given up for the last thirty-odd years. She can have a glass of wine with dinner, or go out for breakfast, or get the couches re-upholstered. She can sleep in on Saturdays, buy a new camellia for the garden, and go to the theatre. And her and Dad are going to Paris for their wedding anniversary - thirty years after they were last there on their honeymoon.
My Mum has dedicated more than half her life to making sure that her sons got all the opportunities they could, and she deserves every little pleasure that comes her way.
Happy birthday, Helly. We love you.
Filed under Peter
Comments
Your mum sounds like a dead set legend, Pete. Did you show her this? Did she cry? I bet she cried.
Is you Dad jealous, now?
This actually made me feel kind of ashamed that all I ever do is pay out on my poor old Mum. She's a pretty great mum, really. For a neurotic, over-involved, former stage mother who likes to read the obituaries for fun, that is.
PS - Did not realise you played the saxophone. Am suitably impressed.
Posted by: jellyfish at July 11, 2005 08:58 PM
She cried.
I didn't show her, though. Like some others, I have a brother with a big mouth.
Dad'll get his in November. Or when the Dees win a flag.
Posted by: Peter at July 11, 2005 10:53 PM
This is a very lovely story. You are a good son. Like Jesus, but with less facial hair.
Posted by: ms fits at September 12, 2005 07:33 PM
Better die standing than live kneeling... Edwin
Posted by: Edwin at November 22, 2006 08:09 PM
Old birds are not caught with chaff... Nathaniel
Posted by: Nathaniel at November 30, 2006 08:05 AM
Old birds are not caught with chaff... Nathaniel
Posted by: Nathaniel at November 30, 2006 08:05 AM
I just don't have anything to say. Not that it matters. Eh. I've just been staying at home doing nothing, but I don't care. That's how it is.
Posted by: Sten74252 at January 6, 2007 11:57 PM
I just don't have anything to say , but shrug. So it goes. Not much on my mind recently. I can't be bothered with anything recently.
Posted by: Sten74275 at January 9, 2007 11:17 AM
Basically nothing noteworthy happening right now, but eh. Today was a complete loss. I haven't been up to much recently. I've pretty much been doing nothing worth mentioning.
Posted by: Sten43883 at January 10, 2007 12:17 AM
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I can't be bothered with anything these days, but shrug. I just don't have anything to say recently. I haven't gotten much done recently. Nothing seems worth thinking about.
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I haven't been up to anything these days. So it goes. I can't be bothered with anything these days.
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I can't be bothered with anything these days, but such is life. I don't care. So it goes. More or less nothing seems worth thinking about. I've just been hanging out waiting for something to happen, but that's how it is.
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I haven't gotten anything done recently. I've just been hanging out doing nothing. I haven't been up to anything these days, but it's not important. Today was a total loss.
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retty much nothing seems worth thinking about. My life's been completely dull , not that it matters. I've just been staying at home waiting for something to happen.
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I just don't have much to say these days, but so it goes. Today was a total loss. I guess it doesn't bother me.
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I haven't gotten anything done recently. I've just been hanging out doing nothing. I haven't been up to anything these days, but it's not important. Today was a total loss.
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I've just been staying at home not getting anything done. I guess it doesn't bother me. Shrug. I haven't been up to anything. I haven't gotten much done today.
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I can't be bothered with anything these days, but such is life. I don't care. So it goes. More or less nothing seems worth thinking about. I've just been hanging out waiting for something to happen, but that's how it is.
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retty much nothing seems worth thinking about. My life's been completely dull , not that it matters. I've just been staying at home waiting for something to happen.
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I've just been staying at home not getting anything done. I've basically been doing nothing worth mentioning. My life's been pretty unremarkable these days. Eh.
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I've just been staying at home waiting for something to happen. Whatever. Not much on my mind lately. I guess it doesn't bother me.
Posted by: Sten47058 at January 30, 2007 12:34 PM
Basically nothing noteworthy happening right now, but eh. Today was a complete loss. I haven't been up to much recently. I've pretty much been doing nothing worth mentioning.
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I just don't have much to say these days, but so it goes. Today was a total loss. I guess it doesn't bother me.
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My life's been pretty dull recently. Shrug. My mind is like a void. I haven't gotten anything done lately. I can't be bothered with anything recently.
Posted by: Sten5467 at January 31, 2007 03:39 AM
I can't be bothered with anything these days, but such is life. I don't care. So it goes. More or less nothing seems worth thinking about. I've just been hanging out waiting for something to happen, but that's how it is.
Posted by: Sten24882 at January 31, 2007 11:37 AM
Basically nothing seems worth thinking about. I haven't been up to much these days. I just don't have much to say right now. I can't be bothered with anything , but whatever.
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Basically nothing seems worth thinking about. I haven't been up to much these days. I just don't have much to say right now. I can't be bothered with anything , but whatever.
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I haven't been up to anything today. I can't be bothered with anything recently. Nothing seems worth thinking about. I haven't gotten anything done recently, but oh well. Not much noteworthy going on worth mentioning.
Posted by: Sten5864 at February 1, 2007 03:26 AM
I just don't have anything to say , but shrug. So it goes. Not much on my mind recently. I can't be bothered with anything recently.
Posted by: Sten25035 at February 1, 2007 03:37 AM
I've more or less been doing nothing worth mentioning, but eh. My life's been really bland today. I don't care. I've just been letting everything happen without me these days. That's how it is.
Posted by: Sten9241 at February 1, 2007 09:28 PM
I've just been staying at home not getting anything done. I've basically been doing nothing worth mentioning. My life's been pretty unremarkable these days. Eh.
Posted by: Sten90329 at February 2, 2007 03:39 PM
Basically nothing seems worth thinking about. I haven't been up to much these days. I just don't have much to say right now. I can't be bothered with anything , but whatever.
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retty much nothing seems worth thinking about. My life's been completely dull , not that it matters. I've just been staying at home waiting for something to happen.
Posted by: Sten60824 at February 2, 2007 08:00 PM
I haven't gotten anything done today. I feel like a fog, but what can I say? I've just been letting everything wash over me lately, not that it matters. Shrug.
Posted by: Sten3755 at February 2, 2007 09:34 PM
I've just been staying at home not getting anything done. I've basically been doing nothing worth mentioning. My life's been pretty unremarkable these days. Eh.
Posted by: Sten82778 at February 3, 2007 01:14 AM
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I just don't have much to say recently. Such is life. I've basically been doing nothing. Basically nothing seems worth bothering with. Oh well.
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I feel like a complete blank, but I don't care. Pfft. I've pretty much been doing nothing worth mentioning.
Posted by: Sten28174 at February 3, 2007 02:49 PM
I just don't have much to say recently. Such is life. I've basically been doing nothing. Basically nothing seems worth bothering with. Oh well.
Posted by: Sten41312 at February 3, 2007 11:36 PM
I haven't been up to anything today. I don't care. I've just been staying at home not getting anything done. Basically not much happening right now. Maybe tomorrow. I guess it doesn't bother me.
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I haven't been up to much these days. Today was a loss. Nothing seems important. I've just been letting everything happen without me these days.
Posted by: Sten94623 at February 4, 2007 04:41 PM
I just don't have much to say these days, but so it goes. Today was a total loss. I guess it doesn't bother me.
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Posted by: Anonymous at February 5, 2007 04:19 PM
I can't be bothered with anything these days, but such is life. I don't care. So it goes. More or less nothing seems worth thinking about. I've just been hanging out waiting for something to happen, but that's how it is.
Posted by: Sten15374 at February 5, 2007 04:49 PM
I've just been staying at home waiting for something to happen, but I don't care. Basically nothing seems worth thinking about. I can't be bothered with anything recently.
Posted by: Sten7066 at February 5, 2007 10:44 PM
I haven't been up to anything recently, but so it goes. Such is life. What can I say? Pretty much not much exciting going on to speak of. I haven't gotten much done lately, but I don't care.
Posted by: Sten9476 at February 6, 2007 10:19 AM
I can't be bothered with anything these days, but shrug. I just don't have anything to say recently. I haven't gotten much done recently. Nothing seems worth thinking about.
Posted by: Sten94690 at February 6, 2007 01:00 PM
Not much on my mind lately. My life's been completely boring these days. I've just been hanging out not getting anything done. So it goes.
Posted by: Sten33924 at February 6, 2007 04:35 PM
