Glutbusters

Have a look at Petro Georgiou, for example. At the moment, by putting his politcal balls on the line and publicly criticising the government's hardline policy on mandatory detention, he's giving you a lesson in opposition. Not that it's going to do anything, let's be honest. By proposing a private members bill to reform our immigration laws, he is probably guaranteeing himself a backbench seat for the rest of his political life, despite Johnny, like the public opinion whore that he is, magnanimously "allowing Georgiou's bills to be debated". Johnny sent attack-dog Amanda in to maul Petro in the hope of discouraging him, but Petro fought back, and his crusade is gaining momentum. He's doing his best.

This is what you guys should be doing. This is what we wanted you to do during the last Election campaign. We wanted you to stand up against the human rights violations committed in our name. We wanted you to give us a genuine opportunity to vote for a better Australia, but you left us choosing the lesser of two evils. You got so scared of losing that you couldn't do what you had to do to win.

But don't be discouraged. Because Petro, as well as showing you what it means to be in Opposition, has helped you on your way. By making public internal division within the government party room, he's revealed a policy schism that up to now was in-house. We all knew it was there - I mean, it's not as if Costello and Howard actually get on - but those Libs are just so disciplined, aren't they? No public shitfights amongst their own members (they're great when you're in government, those conferences, but in opposition...). As far as we know, the tories are all best mates.

So here's your chance Labor. You missed the opportunity to display any genuine leadership on this issue, but we'll let that slide. Because, let's face it, you're our only hope. But don't let this one go. Don't miss the opportunity to portray Howard's government as an inhumane, disintegrating rabble (God knows, the Libs wouldn't). Don't let us continue to live in a country that sees fit to imprison children indefinitely. And don't shirk your responsibility to lead. Please.

Your comrade,
Peter

*With apologies to EJ Whitten