Glutbusters: Coming Soon...

June 27, 2005

Coming Soon...

Blogging is a shitload of work. Like, it's not a full-time job or anything (there's no cheap Liptons teabags, for starters), but you have to think and stuff. Me: lots of think, no so much with the stuff.

Brainwave!

What if I made up a post of all the undeveloped posts? Not only would it constitute a post IN ITSELF, it would give me the chance to figure out if they were any good.

Thus, I present:

1. An Ode To Caroline Wilson

This one is going to be a bit of a tribute to one of the gutsiest journos around, The Age's Chief Football Writer. It'll laud her for being a woman in a man's world, and for not sinking to the level of Footy Show types like Sam Newman who hate her because she refuses to be a part of the self-congratulatory wank that is commercial football coverage. And she's a great journalist who keeps breaking big stories. You're a legend, Caro.

POST IT? Yep.

2. I Hate Big Companies

This one comes from the bile-spitting rage that Apple worked me into when I had to spend twenty minutes on the phone to them THREE TIMES just to get them to acknowledge that they're received my fax. It was borne of hate, thus it is probably best it didn't find it's way on, because it would have been a furious rant. And I like Apple. And though pretty much all multinationals are arseholes... to be honest, when I'm heading down the coast and I hear the siren song of KFC's Popcorn Chicken, well, who among us can resist?

POST IT: Nope.

3. Dolly Parton And Powderfinger

A foray into music criticism. I've just got to get a piece of software that can crop MP3s so I can blog them. Then when you listen to the intros of Dolly Parton's "Joleen" and Powderfinger's "JC" you'll see that they're EXACTLY THE SAME. Seriously. It'll freak you out. I can see the headlines now: "Oz Rock Gods Pinch Riff From Big-Titted Country Singer". It'll be huge.

POST IT? Shit yeah. Dolly Parton rocks.

4. "Amsterdam Bomb Sirens"

That title is a scribbled note on my desk. I can see now that it doesn't have the legs to be a post, so I'll clear it up here and cross it off the list.

In Amsterdam, they have air raid sirens. They test them on the first Monday of every month. They're really loud.

Yeah, that was never going to make it. Unless I worked it into some clever little cultural differences / travel diary thing. But there's a billion of those just about old pricks driving round Italy on scooters, so the last thing the world needs is me rabbiting on about it. We'll let that lie.

POST IT? Ah, no.

5. Footballers / Sportsmen And Their Shit Attitude To Women

Probably going to take the form of a Lonely Hearts Club. Photos of happy-looking footy /cricket players. Likes: partner-swapping, text messaging, speed, gang rape. Dislikes: small tits, accountability, women. I won't give too much away cause I'm pretty keen on this one. Could also be artfully woven in with 1 as part of a broad comment on gender in sport. Or could be a vicious diatribe. Wait and see!

POST IT? Yeah! Go social commentary man!

6. My Nanna

Cause she's awesome. Could go one of two ways: funny anecdotal stuff about how she worked like a trojan at our tomato bottling day, despite being in her mid-80s. Or serious, triumph-over-adversity kind of stuff about fleeing Italy in the 50s with nothing and coming to Australia to start a new life. Either way, rad lady.

P1010021 copy

What a woman. (Sorry about the cropping - had to remove someone).

POST IT? Yes. But follow with post about other grandma in interests of family unity.

7. Experience Boggle

In which I coin a new phrase for the new millenium.

Experience Boggle: the social game in which middle-class twenty-somethings try to outdo each other in terms of who has the most unique life-shaping experiences. Speak Portuguese? Well, it doesn't mean shit if one of your mates does as well. I'll have to be in a fairly cynical mood for this one.

POST IT? Yep. Note to self: change names of friends.

8. Pastels: A Field Guide

A while back, I dropped the word pastel into a post about the silly tarts who pose for Mik Grigg in her heinous Spy2 (now Exposé) column in The Sunday Age. I call them pastels. This will be the amateur pastel-spotter's field guide. In all good bookstores.

POST IT? Subject to research plan at Spring Carnival.

9. Degrassi Junior High

Damn it, that show is just so AWESOME that there has to be material there somewhere. Could incorporate the other cinematic turning-point of my youth: North Shore ("On a small stretch of coastline as powerful as a man's will, Rick Kane came to surf the big waves. He found a woman who would show him how to survive, and a challenge unlike any other." TELL me you're not PUMPED!)

POST IT? Yes, but first buy entire Degrassi DVD collection for "research".

I'll get to them. Just sit tight.

Filed under Peter

Comments

Dolly! *squeals* You are asking that I supplant the
red haired one in a non-violent coup. You don't know it, but you are making it happen.

I like the footballers lonely hearts, not sure about the life-boggle.

Must insist that pastels are given background history with introduction to the wearing of chambray shirts on a Sunday at the Geebung c.1990-1997

Posted by: fluffy at June 27, 2005 10:05 AM

Pastels - the world NEEDS TO KNOW. Please include details of Pastels-in-Training (leggy strappy's?) and of course, the phenomenon of the Pastelabra.

Experience Boggle? Um... *laughs uneasily* It's not like I've ever done anything that would be included, right? RIGHT??

*runs away*

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